If you have a sense of humor, why not use it to make some money instead of wasting your talent on graffiti? There are ample economic opportunities for people who can see the lighter side of life, or skewer the darker side with a well-aimed quip.
The publications below want to make their readers grin, chortle, guffaw, smile knowingly, and sometimes lead you down the primrose path until the last possible moment. Satire, sarcasm, revolting college humor, one-liners, witty bon mots, sentimental slop, whatever you're good at, some magazine on this list will pay you for it.
Many of the publications on this list have submission periods, so read their guidelines carefully.
Happy submitting!
Note: You can find more paying markets on this page: Paying Markets.
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McSweeney’s
This is one of the most popular, and, in my opinion, funniest sites on the web. (Feel free to disagree.) (But you'll be wrong.) Chances of acceptance are remote, but it doesn't hurt to try. The Quarterly pays on acceptance, but in keeping with their "no rules" policy, they don't say how much. The Internet Tendency may pay in "unusual" currency or not at all. It's hard to tell.
The Funny Times
"Our print publication pokes fun at politics, news, relationships, food, technology, pets, work, death, environmental issues, business, religion (yes, even religion) and the human condition in general. Not much is off limits, so do your best to make us laugh. Plus we’re advertising free, so whatever we like, we use. We pay upon publication, not acceptance, and the rates are $25-$40 per cartoon based on reproduction size and $60 each for story."
"If you write satire, or you’ve just always wanted to, consider submitting your story to Glossy News. Our stories are regularly picked up by HumorFeed and Google News as well as many other leading news aggregators, so if you think you’ve got the chops there’s no better time. No more must you limit yourself to enraged letters to editors or mere blog posts, now you can put your brain where your mouth is… and that’s as sexy as it sounds." Offers prizes.
"Anything that deals with any aspect of the lighter side of parenting — parody, humorous takes on parenting, satire, an “open letter”, take your pick. And if you are questioning if your humor crosses the line, then definitely send it in — we don’t want “safe.” We are a gloriously independent site that doesn’t answer to a board of directors or a huge corporate sponsorship. Use that to your advantage. We certainly aren’t afraid of offending some people, and you shouldn’t be, either." Pays $25 per article.
"Everybody’s got a funny story. What’s yours? Send us your joke, quote, or a funny true story—if it’s selected for the magazine, you’ll be paid $100!"
Listverse
This is an interesting site that capitalizes on the Internet craze for lists. You will find lists for just about everything on Listverse. They are looking for offbeat, unexpected, little-known facts, all written with a sense of humor. Check out some of their lists to see what they prefer. 1500 words minimum. Payment is $100 via Paypal only.
The Squeaky Times
"Hi. You’re here because you’re a funny person who wants to write satirical nonsense on a website that even search engine bots avoid." Submit satirical articles that are between 25 to 300 words in length (or however many words it takes to get the joke(s) across!). Payment is $2.50, "but you grant us permission to make money off of your genius for the remainder of the universe’s existence."
Currently closed due to covid. May reopen at some point.
The (y) Syndrome is always looking for female writers (and occasional allies) who want to help "educate, enlighten, and promote women through comedy and humorous story-telling. At The Syndrome Mag, we cover a broad list of topics from a women’s perspective, including those that directly address gender equality issues such as reproductive rights, pay equity, #MeToo, the glass ceiling, and women in politics (because we REALLY need to laugh about these things) and those that are lighter-hearted and focus on what it’s like being a woman in the world today, including sex and sexual identity, relationships, dating, body image, work, fashion, food, etc. Funny is who we are and what we’re looking for, no matter the topic." You can pitch feature articles between 500-1200 words, memes and art. Payment: $20 for articles chosen for publication. After your 5th published article, the amount increases to $40 per article. They do not pay for memes or artwork that will be published. Read submission guidelines HERE.
The American Bystander
Happy submitting!
Note: You can find more paying markets on this page: Paying Markets.
__________________
McSweeney’s
This is one of the most popular, and, in my opinion, funniest sites on the web. (Feel free to disagree.) (But you'll be wrong.) Chances of acceptance are remote, but it doesn't hurt to try. The Quarterly pays on acceptance, but in keeping with their "no rules" policy, they don't say how much. The Internet Tendency may pay in "unusual" currency or not at all. It's hard to tell.
The Funny Times
"Our print publication pokes fun at politics, news, relationships, food, technology, pets, work, death, environmental issues, business, religion (yes, even religion) and the human condition in general. Not much is off limits, so do your best to make us laugh. Plus we’re advertising free, so whatever we like, we use. We pay upon publication, not acceptance, and the rates are $25-$40 per cartoon based on reproduction size and $60 each for story."
"Part feminista part fashionista our mission is to publish a monthly magazine that speaks to all sides of a women’s personality - their work, their play, their families and their creativity, through one of kind content and effective advertising." Themed issues.
"If you are a funny/smart/creative person, Cracked.com is the single best opportunity you will ever come across in your life. No experience necessary. We will pay you if it's good. You talk directly to the editors — no form letter rejections. Your work could be seen by millions of people. We need articles, photoshops, infographics and videos. Take your pick." Pays $50 per article for your first four articles, then $150 afterwards.
"We accept humor submissions for the Lighter Side. Submissions must be between 1,000 and 3,000 words in length and previously unpublished. Please send articles as Microsoft Word or PDF attachments to editors@saturdayeveningpost.com with Attn: Lighter Side in the subject line. If sending a pitch or query, writers should include one or two writing samples of their work as Microsoft Word or PDF attachments. Please include contact information: name, address, phone number, email address, and Twitter handle (if applicable). In lieu of email, see hard-copy guidelines above." Pays $25-$400 per article.
Listverse
This is an interesting site that capitalizes on the Internet craze for lists. You will find lists for just about everything on Listverse. They are looking for offbeat, unexpected, little-known facts, all written with a sense of humor. Check out some of their lists to see what they prefer. 1500 words minimum. Payment is $100 via Paypal only.
The Squeaky Times
"Hi. You’re here because you’re a funny person who wants to write satirical nonsense on a website that even search engine bots avoid." Submit satirical articles that are between 25 to 300 words in length (or however many words it takes to get the joke(s) across!). Payment is $2.50, "but you grant us permission to make money off of your genius for the remainder of the universe’s existence."
Currently closed due to covid. May reopen at some point.
The (y) Syndrome is always looking for female writers (and occasional allies) who want to help "educate, enlighten, and promote women through comedy and humorous story-telling. At The Syndrome Mag, we cover a broad list of topics from a women’s perspective, including those that directly address gender equality issues such as reproductive rights, pay equity, #MeToo, the glass ceiling, and women in politics (because we REALLY need to laugh about these things) and those that are lighter-hearted and focus on what it’s like being a woman in the world today, including sex and sexual identity, relationships, dating, body image, work, fashion, food, etc. Funny is who we are and what we’re looking for, no matter the topic." You can pitch feature articles between 500-1200 words, memes and art. Payment: $20 for articles chosen for publication. After your 5th published article, the amount increases to $40 per article. They do not pay for memes or artwork that will be published. Read submission guidelines HERE.
"We are a reader-supported, creator-friendly publication committed to preserving the classic print humor experience. We publish material in the tradition of the great humor magazines like The National Lampoon, SPY, The Realist, MAD, Punch, Private Eye - you get the point." Payment is negotiated.
"We are interested in publishing short left-leaning political satire, non-political comedy that speaks to the current moment, and earnest non-comedic essays from a Leftist perspective." Length: 1,200 words max. Payment: $50.
Eggplant Emoji, an annual comedy publication. Eggplant Emoji Volume 2 will be a print and eBook collection of hilarious short stories that are character-driven and culturally striking. Stories selected for this anthology will define pop culture with unforgettable characters, outrageous situations, and riotous humor. Length: 1,000 – 5,000 words. Payment: $25. See deadlines.
"We don't follow a viral or utilitarian formula when it comes to selecting both evergreen and timely comedy articles and lists—if it's funny it's funny, and we'll do our best to make it work. We're very open to creative writing, atypical formats, mainstream topics with an original approach, mundane topics made interesting, edgy material, satire and parodies, and other offbeat ideas. We're looking for smart, irreverent, and eloquent comedy writing with personality or pizzazz, and a clear throughline. But the main goal is to arouse laughter, whatever your method." Length: Under 1000 words. Comedy Articles ($35 contributor payment) – Satire and parodies, observational humor, funny stories, listicles, humorous guides or essays, and open letters, including evergreen topics with an original approach, timely and topical humor, and offbeat ideas. Funny Lists ($10 contributor payment) – Shorter, punchier comedy formats encompassing lists, quizzes, reviews, and other non-paragraph style formats typically involving a series of items.
"We are primarily interested in publishing short, left-leaning political satire, non-political comedy that speaks to the current moment, and earnest non-comedic essays from a Leftist perspective. We typically don’t publish pieces over 1,200 words unless it’s REALLY interesting. Is your piece really that interesting? If you’re wondering, it’s probably not." Payment: $50. Pitches only.
"As the #1 destination on Medium for all-things humor, and think-pieces on cats, Slackjaw wouldn’t be what it is without you, High Warlock of Funny Ideas. That said, we do accept submissions from humor writers of all backgrounds and extraterrestrial lifeforms. If you’re interested in submitting a humor piece to Slackjaw, please email slackjawsubmissions@gmail.com with a private link to your unpublished Medium draft." Payment: Revenue sharing.
"Send us your best fantasy, sci-fi, and horror themed humor. We’re looking for flash (under 1000 words) and short fiction (7500 words, MAX), as well as high-res art, lampoon classifieds and ads." Payment: $5.
Humor with the emphasis on wit, word play, absurdity and inspired nonsense. Prize: First prize A$50, second prize A$20, third prize A$10, payable via Paypal only.
As well as funny short stories, we will be looking for articles based on someone or something funny that inspires you. It could be your favourite stand up comedian, or a funny movie or show that you love. We want to see how this person or thing has influenced you, we want to not only laugh but see your passion for the subject shine through. Our second new category is ‘send us a letter.’ We want you to send us a letter, written by you to any famous (or infamous!) person throughout history. The letter and subject can be as out there and abstract as you like – it just needs to make us laugh! As per usual, we will also still accept cartoon submissions. Payment: Flat fee of £12.50 per accepted submission for stories, articles and letters. Flat fee of £5.00 per accepted cartoon submissions.
Points in Case pays contributors who submit comedy articles regularly: http://www.pointsincase.com/submissions
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