The publications below want to make their readers grin, chortle, guffaw, smile knowingly, and sometimes take you seriously until the last possible moment. Satire, sarcasm, revolting college humor, one-liners, witty bon mots, sentimental slop, whatever you're good at, some magazine on this list will pay you for it.
(Note: You can find more paying markets on this page: Paying Markets.)
This is one of the most popular, and, in my opinion, funniest sites on the web. (Feel free to disagree.) (But you'll be wrong.) Chances of acceptance are remote, but it doesn't hurt to try. They pay on acceptance, but in keeping with their "no rules" policy, they don't say how much.
The Morning News
"The Morning News (TMN) is an online magazine of essays, art, humor, and culture published weekdays since 1999. In addition to our features, each day includes our headlines, with links to the most interesting news items, articles, and oddities around the web. At TMN, we believe in good writing, tight editing, wit, curiosity, making mistakes, and solving them with tequila. We speak through what we publish."
"The Toast is a daily blog that publishes features on everything from literary characters that never were to female pickpockets of Gold Rush-era San Francisco. The Toast is one of those mass-market science fiction paperbacks some used bookstores put out on the street in big press-board rolling carts, the kind with drawings of women in long white robes standing in front of a horizon with two or three moons on the cover. The Toast is a long email chain about force-ranking the Mitford sisters. The Toast prefers free weights to circuit machines but also enjoys a good sit. The Toast doesn’t care how much you or Marilyn Monroe weigh. The Toast is happy, then dignified. The Toast is not haunted, but would welcome a visit from ghosts."
"We welcome all humor submissions and the best way to know what we’re looking for is to take a look at what we’re doing now! Originality and visual humor are especially prized! We’re interested in material focusing on evergreen topics, such as dating, family, school and work, plus topical material about celebrities, sports, politics, news and social trends. In addition, we will consider submissions for our Fundalini Pages and annual MAD 20 (The Dumbest People, Events and Things of the Year). We also welcome submissions for our Strip Club (artist-writers or artist-writer teams preferred)."
The Funny Times
"Our print publication pokes fun at politics, news, relationships, food, technology, pets, work, death, environmental issues, business, religion (yes, even religion) and the human condition in general. Not much is off limits, so do your best to make us laugh. Plus we’re advertising free, so whatever we like, we use. We pay upon publication, not acceptance, and the rates are $25-$40 per cartoon based on reproduction size and $60 each for story."
"Wanna write articles for CollegeHumor? One of the biggest comedy sites on the internet? A site that generates millions of pageviews per day and once bought a stuffed banana for like $4 grand? Well guess what - YOU CAN! All you have to do is send an email to Articles@collegehumor.com with your pitch, and our editors will work with you to craft the perfect article. Even better? If your article submission gets accepted, WE’LL PAY YOU MONEY. For a single page article, we’ll pay you $35. For a larger multi-page article, we’ll pay you $50."
This is an interesting site that capitalizes on the Internet craze for lists. You will find lists for just about everything on Listverse. They are looking for offbeat, unexpected, little-known facts, all written with a sense of humor. Check out some of their lists to see what they prefer. 1500 words minimum. Payment is $100 via Paypal only.